


Burning the Midnight Candle

by kasaru_chan



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Count Gloucester is an asshole, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Reeeeeally minor Claurenz content, gratuitous fluff, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 15:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21101426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kasaru_chan/pseuds/kasaru_chan
Summary: Its the evening before a new dawn and Lorenz finds himself needing to atone for all that his father has done.Lucky for him, he's got a pretty solid support system.





	Burning the Midnight Candle

**Author's Note:**

> This is just complete gratuitous hurt/comfort for my favorite boy.
> 
> I pretty much just popped this out in a day with way too much coffee in my veins. The Claude/Lorenz is very minor here. Blink and you'll miss it minor.
> 
> Don't ask me why I titled it that, idk it sounded poetic.

Icy winds stung his eyes but he refused to slow his pace. In fact he urged Rosie to go faster, pushing her harder than he ever had before.

He had managed to escape the guards that his father had stationed outside his door. Their drinks spiked with a sleeping drought that his father had been using to placate him. Once he figured out it was there, it was just a matter of distilling the trace amounts from the tea. Collecting it in a vial only to give it all back and in a great enough dosage to put a Wyvern to sleep.

But that didn't mean he was safe, he had to move quickly.

The forest around him seemed to blur as he pushed his poor horse to run further west, to Garreg Mach where they promised to meet in five years time. He almost laughed hysterically at how foolish this all was. The Alliance was on the verge of collapsing upon itself as the empire exerted its pressure and here he was risking everything to do what exactly? Keep a promise that they made five years ago, back when things were simpler and the only thing he had to worry about was his undue feelings towards their charming leader.

But he had to do something, he couldn't stay, not after the horrors he discovered.

He considered the worst case scenarios, because of course he did, he wasn't an optimist like Claude was. His house arrest prevented him from making contact with any of his classmates. He knew Claude was still alive else his father would have been in a better mood, and Hilda. But what of Ignatz, he promised him a spot in his court, or Raphael and his sister (orphaned… because of...) What of Lysithea? Oh god Lysithea could be dead and he wouldn't have known! And Leonie, did she defend her village from the empire's invasion that his father allowed?

As these thoughts crept upon him so too did long shadows of darkness. The path before him was endless and paved with blood, the blood of everyone his father killed all so that he could rule the alliance for himself.

_'No not just myself'_ The words whispered in his ear like a hissing snake. _'Everything I ever did, it was for you, my son.'_

Suddenly the shadows had him, coiling tight around his arms and waist pulling him from his horse and dragging him back. Back to House Gloucester, back to the blood that would never be wiped clean.

"No!" He screamed thrashing about. "No no no!" Fire flew from his fingers only to be snuffed out by the darkness. Snakes coiling tighter around his body and he is trapped forced to remain stationary as Claude is run through with a spear.

And then, he wakes. Violently so, as he's pulled from his nightmare. He is drenched in sweat, his knuckles clenched tight in the thin blanket covering him. A warmth at his side calls his attention and he sees that the sheer curtains over his window are now on fire.

With a startled cry he beats the flames down with his pillow, having forgotten how to magic the fire away in his fight or flight panic and when he comes back to himself, he laughs, near hysterical of how comedic this all is.

After the laughter subsides he is able to calm down process where he is. That right, he's at Garreg Mach, there were no snake in the dark to keep him from his goal, he made it here in time and his fears never came to pass. Everyone was safe, even the professor that everyone assumed was dead.

It's fine, everyone was fine. He assured himself and even though in his head he knew it to be true, he had a hard time really believing it.

The faint smell of ash reached his nose and Lorenz turns his gaze to his ruined curtains. The faint wisps of smoke curling by the light of the moon.

Lorenz let out a sigh, running a free hand through his hair. Well he wouldn't be getting any sleep here.

With that in mind he pulled on his sleeping robe, folded his threadbare blanket over one arm and grabbed his pillow.

Outside the air was crisp, the night so clear you could see the stars dotting the sky and Lorenz shivered as the chill seeped through his pajamas. He wasn't sure where he was going until his feet walked him right up to the old Golden Deer classroom. He chuckled to himself, old habits were hard to break.

He pushed open the doors and was surprised to find that he wasn't the only one in the old classroom.

Claude startled visibly at his entry, eyes wide in surprise like a deer caught unaware by a hunter. Once he realized who it was though, he relaxed, a move Lorenz thought ill advised, considering who he his father is… who he himself used to be.

"Couldn't sleep?" Claude asked, a knowing smile in his voice.

Lorenz let out a sigh through his nose shutting the door behind him, blanketing the room in a darkness that made his chest constrict. "Not a wink, the beds in the dorms are as lumpy as they've ever been." Lorenz lit a flame in his hands, desperate to chase the creeping shadows away. "And what of you? Scheming in the darkness?"

Claude laughed but it sounded hollow and it instantly had Lorenz on edge. "You make me sound so dastardly when you put it like that. Are you keeping tabs on me for daddy dearest again?"

The words stung, maybe more so than Claude intended because upon seeing the look on Lorenz's face, he immediately rushed to fix it. "Shit no that came out wrong Lorenz I--"

"No its fine" Lorenz sighed, surprised at how calm and collected his voice sounded even as the hand holding the flames was shaking. "You are right to be wary of me considering that the last time we spoke I had claimed I would prove myself the superior leader of the Alliance by _any means necessary._"

Claude blinked, surprised as Lorenz sent flickers of flames to various candles strewn about the room and to the hanging chandelier, lighting up the room in a warm glow. Chasing away the shadows.

"These past five years have served to enlighten me on exactly what those words mean and I was wrong, so very terribly wrong."

He needed this, needed to voice this guilt and who better than the current Duke Reigen. The man forced into the role because of one of the many heinous acts his father had committed.

"Lorenz…" Claude trailed off, getting up from his seat to walk over to him. A brush of leather touching his cheek. "Lorenz I'm not--"

The sound of the door opening startled them both apart and Hilda appeared in the doorway, a pillow tucked under her arm and a blanket wrapped around her person. Her eyes wide in surprise taking in the scene before her.

"Uh, am I interrupting something here?" She asked looking between Lorenz and Claude. "A midnight rendezvous?"

Lorenz felt heat rushing to his face and jerked his head away his curtain of hair fanning with the motion. "Certainly not! How preposterous!"

"No I'm serious. I'll sleep elsewhere and you can get back to… whatever it was you were doing."

"_Thanks_ Hilda." Claude muttered darkly before shaking his head and giving her a kind smile. "But I think we're good, you couldn't sleep either?"

Hilda blinked before glancing away, worrying the edge of her blanket with her fingers. "I… um no bad dreams. I thought I would sleep better after having some Lavender tea. But I saw the lights on and… I don't know."

Lorenz busied himself with laying out his own blanket, mostly to hide his still flushed face but also because he knew they would need their rest if they wanted to be ready for what tomorrow was sure to bring.

"Hey that's not a bad idea." Claude grinned, the smile as playful and sly as it used to be when it tormented Lorenz's every waking thought. "Let's have a Golden Deer sleepover!"

Hilda dropped her uneasy expression for one that was intrigued, excited. "Really?"

"Yeah I'm the new Duke Reigen and I decree it so. We are having a sleepover."

"Ok! I'll go get everyone! You two clear the room so we have space. We'll also need a whole bunch of pillows and blankets!" She grinned clapping her hands. "Chop chop boys!" She cheered before out the door she came in.

Claude turned to Lorenz with a hand on his hip. "Why do I feel like she manipulated me into this?"

"Probably because she did." Lorenz clucked his tongue in annoyance, standing up to stretch his back. "As leader of the alliance you'd do well to not allow her to walk all over you."

"Ah what's the harm." Claude chuckled. "I get the feeling that after the last five years we had, we could all use it."

\-----

Hilda returned with the rest of the Golden Deer house in tow. Ignatz letting out a tired yawn with his hair adorably rumpled. Marianne as soft and solemn as always. Lysithea was being piggybacked by Raphael, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she was put down and Leonie was dressed in her sleepwear carrying a pile of folded blankets.

Lorenz and Claude had managed to clear up a decent sized space but Raphael was all too happy to move the rest of the desks to the wall.

Leonie dropped the blankets down unceremoniously with a smile on her face. "This was a good idea Claude, good practice for when we'll have to rough it in the wild."

"Where are the snacks" Raphael asked looking around. "Can't have a sleepover without snacks."

"This is war time Raphael, we need to ration our pantry supplies wise--"

"Eh ignore Mr. No fun. Go to the pantry and get us some of those salted nuts and dried fruit."

"No meat?" Raphael called over his shoulder, making his way to the door.

"No save those for the soldiers, big guy." Claude turned to Lorenz as if expecting approval for his brilliant compromise. Lorenz had no intention of giving it to him.

Lysithea had quietly pulled a blanket from the pile and curled up on the floor. To Lorenz's surprise, she had chosen to curl up where he had placed his own sleeping arrangements and Lorenz wasn't sure if she knew that or not.

"Tired?" He asked gently sliding his pillow under her head.

"Not all of us have a horse to carry us from place to place." Lysithea snarled hugging the pillow closer to her head. "I had to warp repeatedly in order to get here in time."

"You shouldn't have strained yourself." Lorenz chided lightly. Unable to stop himself from being a mother hen.

"As if you idiots would last… *yawn* last a second without me." Lysithea paused in her insult to yawn and Lorenz chuckled fondly.

He reached to pet back her hair but stopped short, his fingers hovering awkwardly, shaking. The sight of her white hair, turned pale due to experiments done to her with his father's blood, _his blood_. Suddenly the room felt was too small, his skin too tight, he shouldn't _be_ here!

"Lorenz?"

Lorenz jerked his head up, Leonie having knelt beside him her expression worried.

"You're breathing sounds a little rushed there. Are you ok?"

"I'm…" Lorenz could see that not just Leonie but Claude was also looking over at him, keeping Lorenz in his sights even as he was talking with Hilda. "Yes I'm quite fine."

Leonie didn't look assured but said nothing to contest him as she sat down on Lysithea's other side. "We were worried about you."

"About me?"

Leonie nodded her head curling her knees to her chest. "When the empire invaded my village I tried to go to House Gloucester to give your father a piece of my mind."

Lorenz's eyes widened. This was the first he was hearing of it.

"And that piece extended to you, after all your lofty talk of helping the commoners under you, I thought you had abandoned your ideals… abandoned us."

She then clenched her fist, her gaze hard. "But then I got there and I couldn't find you. I tried asking and no one would give me a straight answer. Then your father showed up, and he told me that I didn't have to worry about you, that you were being _straightened_ out."

"I almost punched him right in his smarmy fucking face but he stopped me and had me escorted off the premises." She ran a hand through her hair. "_Fuck_ Lorenz you could have been tortured in that house and I couldn't do anything to get to you. I didn't even know where they were keeping you."

"You had nothing to be concerned about, father would never lay a hand on me." Lorenz said, again surprised at how assured and calm he had sounded. No there were other, more creative ways to break someone, drug them, isolate them from their friends, work guilt into their veins like poison.

_'Not for myself, everything I ever did was for you Lorenz.'_

A swift punch was delivered to his shoulder, so hard it was sure to leave a bruise. He reached up to rub the pain away, looking affronted, but Leonie didn't look apologetic. She looked furious.

"Get out of your goddamn head already." She hissed clenching her fist tight.

Lorenz blinked but before anything more could be said Raphael had opened the door with armfuls of earthenware canisters.

"So I couldn't find the dried fruit but I found a whole bunch of other things! And I know you said no meat Claude, but not even a starving man would eat pickled herring and I know it's Lorenz's favorite!"

"Good man." Claude sighed with relief under his breath. "We should probably finish setting up our sleeping arrangements" Claude said louder this time as he walked over to Lorenz, tapping a foot on the empty floor space in front of him. "Put it right here big guy, we'll sleep in a circle so the snacks are within arm's reach."

"You know, I can't even remember the last time I did this." Raphael laughed placing the snacks on the floor. "When my little sis had nightmares about my parents she would--" All of a sudden he stopped talking, his eyes wide as he looked at Lorenz.

Lorenz's chest clenched in sudden realization and he could hear Claude let out a quiet curse in a foreign language.

"Hey who's hungry? I sure am!" Claude crashing down on Lorenz's other side laughing as he reached into one of the canisters to take a handful of nuts. "Boy these sure are good! Hey Lorenz remember when me and Hilda used to--"

"Enough Claude!" Lorenz shouted and at once all in the room went quiet and still.

"I know what you are doing, what all of you are trying to do." Lorenz hissed between gritted teeth. "And while it's appreciated, I assure you I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine..." Hilda murmured.

"I'm fine!" He snapped the fires flaring up around them. "My life had been just wonderful! Quietly living up to my father's every expectation of me, being pampered with the finest tea sets, learning the art of political maneuvering in preparation for me to take my place as the new leader of the alliance only to realize just what was sacrificed to get me there!"

Lorenz pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling. No he had no right to cry here, not until he said his piece, relieved his guilt.

"And you all have the nerve, the absolute gall to console me! If I were you, I would have thrown me to the empire in the hopes that one of you will get the chance to stick an arrow in me with nary a tear shed! It's what I deserve..."

His hands were shoved aside and the collar of his shirt was caught in a pair of clenched fists. Not Claude, not Raphael, but Ignatz, his teeth clenched and expression furious behind his glasses.

"That's your dad talking." Ignatz said, his tone low. "I bet your dad worked you over, making you feel like you are to blame for what happened to Raphael's parents."

Lorenz's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to protest, but Ignatz wasn't done. "And he probably told you that to make you feel guilty. To make you isolate yourself from people who actually care about you. People who don't--" he glanced over at Raphael who was watching in stunned silence, "who don't even _blame_ you to begin with."

"And look. I know how you feel. It wasn't supposed to be Raphael's parents that night. But am I to blame for having living parents? Is it my fault Raphael's parents are dead?"

"No of course not! But I--"

"Then it's not your fault either!" Ignatz huffed shoving him away. "So get out of your head. The world doesn't revolve around you and shit your dad does."

It was quiet, deathly so until Hilda seated at Claude's other side whispered. "Did Iggy just say shit?"

Ignatz's face immediately flushed as he realized suddenly that he had indeed cursed. "I-I didn't mean--!"

"Tsk tsk Ignatz that is a no-no word." Claude wagged a finger. "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

The tension in the room dissolved into merciless teasing, as Ignatz buried his face in his hands, the flush spreading to his ears. Lorenz heard in all happen around him but was staring down at the floor, feeling almost numb.

A finger poked at his hand and when he looked up, Marianne was there staring at him with tired eyes.

"Father used to tell me that you had a soft heart… and it would one day break you." Marianne muttered softly offering up a small smile. "But it isn't a soft heart, it's a beautiful one. One that has too much love and kindness for others but none for himself. You once told me you saw that in me, I see it in you too Lorenz. It's why we love you."

The numbness melted away and in its place all Lorenz could feel was relief. After 5 years of guilt building on top of him, crushing him, he felt the weight start to ease a little and all Lorenz could do was cry. Sobs that wracked his whole body, shaking him to his core. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have met all of you."

Marianne smiled and suddenly she was pressed in, Hilda's arm encompassing her and Claude.

"Aw bring it in everyone, group hug!" She smiled despite mist forming in her eyes.

Lorenz was well and truly squished between Raphael's thick bicep and Leonie's ribs. Everyone trying for the impossible task of hugging everyone at the same time. Lysithea beside him let out a displeased noise, before grabbing a hold of Lorenz's pillow and smacking Hilda in the face.

"Do you mind!? Some of us had to magic themselves here and need rest!" Lysithea snarled before pulling the pillow back and curling up tighter around it.

"Aww how precious..." Claude cooed once they were all free and received a pillow to the face. "Alright fine," He laughed running a hand through his messy curls. "Time for bed guys."

Everyone then retreated to spread out the blankets for their sleeping arrangements. Lysithea staying where she was at Lorenz's left side and Claude placing his blanket and pillow to Lorenz's right.

"Feeling less sorry for yourself now?" Claude asked with a teasing smile.

"Yes." Lorenz sniffed wiping the remaining tears from his face with his thumb. "I'm sure after a night's rest, I'll be embarrassed by this whole display."

"Yeah emotions are terrible like that." Claude chuckled, laying back. "Could you hit the lights?"

"Of course." Lorenz said, flicking his hand to extinguish the flames, casting the room in darkness. Funny though how it didn't seem as terrifying as before, perhaps it was the tingling warmth he was feeling from Claude's arm pressed against his.

They sat in silence for a long time. Long enough for Lorenz to hear Lysithea's breathing even out and Raphael's snoring from the opposite side of the room.

"Lorenz? You asleep?" Claude whispered in the darkness.

Lorenz nearly responded to say something biting like 'how could anyone sleep with all that racket Raphael is making' but something in Claude's tone held his tongue. His Claude senses, that he had spent the better part of their school days fine tuning, were advising him to keep silent and pretend to be asleep.

After a few minutes of silence, he could hear Claude inhale. A soft and shaky sound. "I'm going to tell you a secret, but you have to promise not to tell your dad." He chuckled to himself. "Before you showed up… I was really close to having a breakdown too."

Lorenz could hear him shifting beside him, turning to face Lorenz fully and Lorenz kept his eyes closed, slowing down his breathing into something more even. 

"Come tomorrow, I get the feeling that the war is really going to start for us, and the thought of it, of the choices I'll have to make. If I'm being honest, it terrifies me."

Lorenz's twitched, his hand itching to slide those scant few inches to Claude's side and grasp his hand. If only to assure him. But Claude wasn't done yet.

"Helping you work through your feelings… it helped me with mine too, more than you know… more than I'll ever tell you." Claude chuckled. "We don't need your ego to be even more inflated than it already is."

Lorenz frowned but waited.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... thank you. Thank you for being here, thank you for being you, and thank you for lighting up all the candles in the room so I didn't have to be alone here in the dark, scheming inside my own head about all the ways everything can go wrong."

Lorenz then felt a brush, not of leather but of a bare hand against his own and it felt so warm, so delightfully scandalous, that it took everything in Lorenz's power to remain still. 

Claude then shifted to his other side, facing away. "Good night Lorenz." 

Lorenz opened his eyes turning his head to stare at his broad back. The minimal moonlight painting his silhouette is a soft ethereal glow. Lining his dark curls in trace amounts of spun silver. Lorenz couldn't help the fond smile as he reached over to tuck a stray moonlit strand behind his his ear.

"Good night Claude." He hummed relishing in the startled jump in Claude's shoulders before turning over and closing his eyes to sleep.

It was the best sleep Lorenz could remember having.


End file.
